so i just got home from a trip to Philadelphia to the Temple Medical Center to see Dr. Parkman. This wa sa follow up to my stomach emptying scan, which like i said earlier came up so bizarre (my food my going through fine but my liquids had trouble going though (which i have trouble believing because i still puke things from up to 8 hours prior)). He said one of the drug trials that he is involved with i couldn't be a part of because of my results, but there is another trial on a drug that still being cleared through the company. hopefully by the time we go back in april i can be a part of it. he gave me a new drug, another anti-depressant, for the time being. im not sure the name but once i start it i will fill everyone in. i hate taking anti-depressant because i think the paxel has made me even more sad. hopefully this one will do the reverse effect and make me happy and feeling good. fingers crossed.

today i feel awful. i haven't been to school for three weeks (minus one day). i dont care about anything anymore when i feel good. i throw my diet out the window and try to make the best of my good feelings. but boy do i pay for it in the end. i have been sleeping an unusual amount recently. i sleep for 12-15 hours and cannot wake up. i dont know if it has to do with my thyroid (since i haven't gotten my regular blood work done for...forever.) but that is also making me very worn down and tired. this friday i am going back to temple medical center for my return appointment with dr. parkman. it also happens to be the day after the birthday (boo). so i get to bring my bestfriend alex, since my boyfriend cant miss his two college finals, on thursday (my birthday) over to phili with me. we are going to a fancy restaurant and then dr appt in the AM. we also get to go to king of prussia mall (SCORE!) so atleast ican make a lot of fun out of this appointment even though its on my birthday. hopefully he gives me lots of lovely drugs thatll make me feel great.

so you know what is my favorite thing in the world? throwing up while driving by yourself. (JK) thhis happened to me tonight, and its been one of many times. there are several ways to do this. 1.) (most dangerous/stupid) hold giant eagle bag (since i know all you GPers cars are stocked up with giant eagle bags) in both hands while still on the wheel and puke into bag as you are driving/steering. 2.) pull off to side of road and puke into that same giant eagle bag. 3.) pull on onto side and road, open up the car door and puke your guts out the door. fun eh? these are my three ways of barfing while driving. i can say that i am an expert at this. so hope you enjoyed the tips.HAHAH.

its so ironic that after i post my last post, i started to feel better, then suddenly it came on so quickly. i threw up my entire day, like usual. so much fun...not. so of course i didnt get into school today. feeling like absolute crap. i really just want a break from it all but it never seems to happen. this weekend was so good, i wanted to make it into school so bad. but i am thankful that i had a fun weekend and got to enjoy my amazing friends. my parents are starting to talk about taking me out of school again. thats exactly what i dont want this year, my senior year. it would be homebound again. last year it did really relieve so much stress from me. i dont know if i want to or not this year. i want to be in school so bad, but only when i feel good and thats so rare. being at home gives me some peace about worrying about getting into school. i dont know. i need to think it through...

so now i am feeling better, sortof. its so on and off its frustrating and annoying as hell. please someone fix me. this week i only have two days of school so im praying that i will be able to get there. i need to. ive missed about half of the days that we have been in school, and we've only been in 40. but whatever i do what i can. one of my favorite quotes for gp is "take one day at a time." caus thats really all that you can do. it helps me handle the stress of everyday life and all the stress that comes with missing school, dance, my future and everything in my life that happens to go wrong. i just have to take one day at a time. thats all we can really do guys.

is it sad or wrong that sometime i just want to be put into the hospital? i've felt sick for such a long time, and recently for a week and a half straight, with no school, i just want to give up. just shove me in the hospital, give me lots of drugs, and let me sleep my days away. not only is my stomach ill so is the rest of my body. i dont want to do anything, when it goes this long i cant take it and all i want to do is cry. no relief. no closer to a cure. cure me. i need it so bad, and so many of you beautiful people need it to. we need help, we cant live like this. no one knows the pain, suffering, and torture we go through every day. please give us strength.

i want to be free.

hello GP suffers,

its been a month since my last post and i just wanted to fill you guys in. nothing major has been happening except being extremely sick. the previous two weeks i was out of school, totally sick. ontop of that i had an awful cold. it made me feel miserable and i just wanted to sleep all day. we have been trying this sancuso patch. its supposed to relieve nausea, you put the patch on your arm and keep iton for seven days. but it really doesnt like to stay that long. so i have to bandage it down. i really hate it though and dont recommend it. it doesnt really help at all and all it does is change the color of my skin and leave weird bug bite like bumps all over the spot it was. luckily i have been feeling well enough this week to go to school. i also didnt get sick at the homecoming dance last saturday. i made it the whole time, sweaty and all with getting over heated, sick, or vomitting. hooray!

i hope you all are feeling well.

xoxo.

dear readers,

i know that its almost been a month since my last post, and i am so truly sorry for that. things have been up and down, like usual. recently, for the past couple days, i have been feeling awful. i was up all night last night throwing up things from 3 o'clock that afternoon. not fun. we went to the temple university medical center for another gastric emptying test a couple weeks ago. it was six hours long and not that fun. during the test the tech said everything was moving through fine. WTF? apparently it was a mostly normal test except for when the liquids went through? this makes no sense to me, especially since recently ive been throwing up things at night that i ate for breakfast. its so frustrating and im not sure what this means now. all i know is that i an so incredibly tired of being ill all the time. i just want to be normal, live a normal carefree life. im so very tired of having to watch and worry about everything i do, put in my mouth, and taking all of my medicine. im so tired of the comments and the lack of care since this has gone on so long. people have seemed to forget about my feelings and think just because its gone on this long and that i may seem happy on the inside, that im not being killed on the inside. its so frustrating but i have to live with it.

hope you guys are feeling good.

xoxo.

hello everyone,

so great news. last time we saw dr. lee she suggested we go see a doctor in philadelphia who is doing a clinical trial. so that was our next step. it took forever but we finally got an appointment for dr. parkman at temple medical center. he is a big shot and such a dear. he told me that i was too young for the trial but that there are many more options for my nausea. hooray! some of the greatest news ever. he put me on this patch that i will wear for nausea (not sure of the name). im going to start it soon so ill fill you in then!

hope everyone is feeling great!

xoxo.

hello dear readers,

so i have big news. i just started trying acupuncture. you know where the poke needles in special spots to make you feel better. and I LOVE IT! its so relaxing and it doesnt hurt a bit.

Acupuncture is a component of traditional Chinese medicine that originated in China over 5,000 years ago. It is based on the belief that living beings have a vital energy, called "qi", that circulates through twelve invisible energy lines known as meridians on the body. Each meridian is associated with a different organ system. An imbalance in the flow of qi throughout a meridian is how disease begins. Acupuncturists insert needles into specified points along meridian lines to influence the restore balance to the flow of qi. There are over 1,000 acupuncture points on the body.

one of my GP friends said it helped her so much! ive only gone twice but im inlove with it. after i feel so great, my energy is up and i feel like a new woman. i do wish that i could be a part of the GP acupuncture study going on at johns hopkins but i cannot make that trip even more often. but i love my acupuncturist and i love the acupuncture itself. i highly recommend it to any person who any sort of pain or anxiety.

hope everyone is feeling good.

xoxo.

good evening my sweet readers,

i want to keep up with this blog so badly so im going to try my best to blog frequently. nothing new or exciting has happened since the last post. running has seemed to really help my stability, strength, and endurance. little by little i am gaining back the strength i once had (as a dancer). im hoping to be in good shape in the next 2 weeks when the danceline/colorguard band camp begins. i can only describe it as hell to me, waking up very very early, doing vigorous activities from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm, and being out all that time in the hott hott weather. im not looking forward to it, or the way my stomach will handle it. but this is what the running is for and hopefully ill be better off come camp time. i hope everyone reading is feeling good. my best GP friend from england is not doing so well. she is permanently hospitalized because she has lost so much weight, and cant keep food in. i feel so awful for her and i wish so badly that i could go be with her at the hospital. unfortunately she lives across the atlantic ocean. so a prayer goes out to her and all of you suffering for this horrid disease.

feel good today.

xoxo.

hey everybody,

i hope all is feeling well. i sure am not. since the last post i have still struggled with my stomach, and throwing up. i just cant seem to get out of this slump. its terrible. this hasnt happened in such a long time.

so today is day 1 of my "self- endurance training" a.k.a. me running everyday. ive heard from a lot of GPers that running and being active helps their stomach. now i couldnt handle doing dance for more than an hour but right now i need to build up my strength and endurance for this upcoming year of danceline//colorguard. Its my last year and i made captain so i need to be able to do everything im asked. so im going to go for a run//walk everyday. im really hoping that itll work out for the best.

stay strong.

hello everybody,

i cannot express my apologies that i haven't posting for a month now. things have been hectic and ive been so very busy. but an update for ya, last wednesday we traveled down again to baltimore to go see the lovely Dr Linda Lee. She was great and was so happy to hear of my progress. I've gained 3 pounds and have been eating regularly. but lately i have been in a terrible two week slump of feeling nothing but crappp. all in all she seemed exstatic about my progress and suggested me re-trying phenergan. it is an anti nausea medicine ive used before, but it just made me too sleeppy with little effects. so im going to give it a try again and see what'll happpen.

she also suggested that the next step would be going to philidelphia to be in a clinical trial for a new anti-nausea drug. i am so super excited and cant wait to go. she said the doctor is top notch, and for someone out of johns hopkins to say that, he must be good.

i hope you all are feeling great!

xoxo.

hello fellow GP-ers.

i have finally been feeling good consistently. its so very nice that the 8 pills of domperidone a day is finally seeming to work. its a miracle drug, and bullshit that its not FDA approved. utter bullshit. but feeling decent has been going my way, welll until two nights ago. after eating a bit too many chocolate covered pomegranates, i was throwing up so so so hard, that i actually couldn't breathe. i had just major inflammation of my damaged vocal chords and failing thyroid glands that i couldn't breathe. nothing like this has ever happened to me. it was quite frightening. so of course the boyfriend called 911, since of course i was at his house. mom and dad rushed over and the ambulance took me to the ER. win! there they took xrays of my lungs and throat. everything was okay and finally the breathing became close to normal and i could go home. what a pain in the ass this disease is. so many things all combined really screws with my life. but on a good note, i will be leaving tomorrow for daytona beach florida. my heaven and favorite place on earth. so i cant wait to get away, relax and soak up the sun.

hope everyone is feeling good.

xoxo.

hello everyone,

sorry for such a delay in posts. ive been so busy with finishing up my school work that i havent had much time to post. ive been feeling on the up for a very long time. i had a tropical party last saturday, ate a lot of junk, and loved it. it didnt even kill me. i was okay and was able to do things that night and the next few days. i loved eating whatever i wanted. it was such a thrill.

bad new i have is that i now have a failing thyroid. my GI thought fixing it might be the key to my nausea and GP, but the endocrinologist ensured us that it is not. My thyroid functions are normal, but it produces off the chart numbers of thyroid anti-bodies. it explains my constant exhaustion and my sleeping forever. so im on yet another medicine which i cannot take within four hours of my others (pain in the ass). its good to know though, that something was wrong before it got to bad. i have to go get a nodule biopsied this thursday. great, cannot wait for them to shove a large needle into my throat. im not to nervous because its common to have large nodules and not be cancer. theyre just doing it for safe keepings. but once this gets fixed ill have another healthy organ in my body. hooray!

hope you all are feeling well.

xoxo.

hello everybody,

i am so i sorry for the lack of posts. i was doing so well and then i got distracted. ive recently been feeling shitty since i got my period. bleh!

but good news. on monday i went to see dr. lee at johns hopkins once again. it was so great to see her, she is such a doll. i highly recommend her to anyone. its worth the long drive to go see her, she literally is the best. she thinks everything i am doing is great and that i am improving a lot since being on the domperidone. we've had to up the dosage to two pills four time a day. and its really seemed to help. i felt great until, like i said, i got my period and my hormones went outta wack. but hopefully we will continue to move in the right direction until i get out of being so sick. I high hopes for the future and to be able to go back to school next year. HOORRAY!

hope you all are feeling well.

xoxo.

hello readers,

just another update for you all. i have been plagued with sickness for the past couple of days. i was doing good from tuesday till thursday. and then non stop puking since then. i don't think the domperidone is doing so much, so mum is going to call dr. lee first thing monday to play around with the dosage. hopefully that will do something for this ragged stomach.

since i've been really starting to follow a strict diet, i have decided to become a Pescetarian. which means basically being a vegetarian, but one who eats seafood and shellfish. seafood makes my tummy so happy, seriously. i never ever get sick after eating some type of seafood, (my favorites being shrimp lobster and crab.) i actually have been following PETA myself and watching videos and reading things that really dont help my nausea. HAHA. my boyfriends sister is a vegan so she is helping me with foods and recipes i can use to get proteins and nutrients without eating meat! but cruelty aside, i believe that this is a good direction in a diet, and i am excited to see if it really works or helps at all.

hope youre feeling great!

xoxo.

wake up in the morning....... not feeling like p.diddy

hello my lovely readers,

so...ever since the beginning of this whole stomach mess, the morning has been the absolute worst time of the day for me. if i have to get up early i am literally paralyzed in nausea and can hardly get out of my bed. every morning this happens when i have to wake up early, no matter what, even if i felt great the day before and even several days before. it is the most frustrating thing in the entire world, and nothing seems to fix it, except going back to sleep to numb the nausea away. thats why i cannot go to school, but when i did i would only go for a half day. this is also why i haven't gone to my college class at 9:30 in sooo very long. i feel so frustrated and i do everything in my power to get up and go, but its really is physically impossible.

so i ask...

does anyone else have this problem?!

let me know.

xoxo.

when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when i look at you.

hello fellow GPers,

how is everyone feeling? i know my stomach has been doing some weirdo things. i think that maybe the domperidone has been helping me feel better but ive still been puking so much, atleast every other day. its very confusing because i do not even feel sick and then i just have to puke. then i'm totally miserable after. not what i'm really used to.

i've had some great days, and i've gone out as much as possible. my best friend cara also is at home and sick. she has fibromyalgia and a gluten intolerance so she's home from college. poor thing. she also has some tummy problems herself. so we can hang out during the day and not be bored and alone. i really love being with her, she;s a blessing. and then after that i have my amazing boyfriend, who has helped me more than anyone, in the evening. i love it. i really do love my life now, minus the GP, now that i have really found out what my life is about and who i really want in my life. i have surrounded myself with the most amazing people in this world, and i couldn't be happier. as awful as this disease may be, i do believe that it has happened for a reason. i have met so many amazing people, lost many people that i discovered dont really belong in my life, and have found out who my true friends are and i am so thankful for them. to all you reading, focus on things like that, because as hard as it is to not focus on the bad, think of the good that has come out of this disease. there has been a lot of bad, but i know for me, there has also been plenty of good.

just wanted to give you an update, and try to keep up more with this blog.

i hope you are all feeling so good.

xoxo.

hello my GP lovers,

so i dont know if anyone noticed but i have been spelling my new medicine completely wrong. it is actually called Domperidone. whoopsies. i guess i was just spelling it how i wanted! hehehe. so it justcame in the mail from Venatu in the south pacific. and i actually think it is working so ill fill you guys in on it!

Domperidone is a medicine that increases the movements or contractions of the stomach and bowel.This medication increases movement through the digestive system. It is used to treat symptoms of stomach disorders. It may also be used to prevent nausea and vomiting caused by certain medications. The problem is that it is not FDA approved in the U.S., but dont worry readers, it is not because of the medicine itself. of course its an economic issue. It would cost too much to endorse the drug, and the drug is so cheap that the company endorsing it and getting it approved would not gain that money back. But it is available without a prescription in 58 countries. we got mine online with a website my doctor gave me.

so if you guys feel that you could use this let your doctor know! because i do believe it is starting to help me!

feel good today.

xoxo.

life moves slowly, when your waiting for it to boil.

hello readers,

sorry its been so late since i last posted. since last weeekend i have been just trampled with sickness. but good new, the domperidone has been shipped. i cannot wait to try it. its kindof sad.

ive sticking with the liquid diet. my plan for good days is no solids until 2:00 PM and stop eating around 8. but onsick days, liquids only, minus small noodles or rice that may be in soup, like dr. lee said. i do think it has helped sooth my stomach when it is sick. my parents bought this blender// food processor called the Ninja. (HAAH i know.) but boyy that thing really works. itll chop anything and everything so quick. perfect for the liquid diet.

the boyfriends gone until sunday, so hopefully i can keep myself occupied. planned a shopping trip tomorow evening with one of my girlfriends,so that will hopefully distract me from feeling like crap.

does anyone know if i can eat sushi?

feel good today.

xoxo.

yesterday was brillant.

hello my lovely reader,

so i have the most amazing news. dr lee is so ridiculously amazing. i was so happy i cried after how positive and confident she was about helping me, and FIXING me. she basically said to screw the low fiber diet. she said you always want to go for low fat, but when you are feeling sick to use a blender as a second stomach. she said that you cant always trust your teeth to grind up your food, so use a blender. fruit and veggies, to make smoothies and soups. liquids have always been easier for me to keep down so she said that it is perfect. keep it simple.

she also is having use get the medicine domperidone. it is not FDA approved here in the US but she assured us that the reason is the economic state, and not the actual medicine. it does not cross the brain so there are no side effects like reglan. she we have to buy it online, and you dont need a prescription.

im so excited and have new hope about beating this and feeling better. im so glad we went to see her and will be going down again in 5 weeks.

i am so excited to start on this new path toward feeling good.

xoxo.

on my journey.

helllo loves,

so tomorrow is the start of the big trip to baltimore to see dr. linda lee. we are leaving around 9am, dropping off the pups, and going down. im so sad that my gemma has to stay at the kennel its nearly bringing me to tears. i know i will cry when we drive away, and when i go to bed without her.

the appointment i not until 9 am friday morning, but we'd figure we'd make the best out of the journey and have some fun. i cant wait to eat some crab since i can and its one of my favorite foods. im very excited, minus the fact that i wont have my boyfriend or pup pup.

i'm very excited excited to see want dr lee has to say. especially since recently ive been throwing up a ridiculous amount. like tonight driving to drop off my boyfriend i threw up three times, and three of my biggest throw ups to date. i cant even believe i had that such junk in my stomach. its awful. puking on the side of the road is not particularly fun, especially when youre puking your life out.

i will blog every once of information i get on friday, and about everything she says.

wish me luck my dear friends and stay healthy.

xoxo.

heartbreak warfare.

hey lovers,

hope every one has started off the week feeling good! i wish i could say i did, but not so much. yesterday, (sun. 28th) i threw up three times. this isn't that unusual, but i haven't in a very long time. since last week ive just been down, hit so hard with nausea and pukies. no fun.

but the good new is that this thursday we will be heading down to baltimore to see the infamous dr. linda lee. she was actually just on tv for some colonoscopy story.she seems awesome and i cant wait to see what she says. i dont have much hope, because ive just learned not to since ive been let down so much. but shes the best, she has to have some ideas.

i will be trying to keep more consistent with my posts, especially this week. please continue to email me or any other contacting avenues i have up. i love to talk to people with my disease. i have made such great friends. one in particular from the uk who i just love to death, and hope to meet some day. so keep on contacting.

we can be friends!

xoxo.

for the parents: tips for helping your child.

hello readers,

i know that it was be hard to be a parent of a GP child, or a child with any chronic illness. but here are some tips from the child's point of view to help us feel better, physically and emotionally.

1. always believe your child. no matter what or when we feel sick, we really do. we arent making it up to get out of something. we are in so much pain and we just need to feel comforted, and not like we have to convince our parents to believe us.

2. don't get mad, at least in front of us. when we are too sick to go to important events, or school, we really are not trying to get out of it. it makes us feel even worse, and more stressed when you get angry about us missing. we are too sick, you have no idea what it feels like. adding stress about our parents being upset with us only adds to the pain.

3. try to comprehend what we are going through. think of having the flu x100 every minute of every day. its torture. you dont understand one bit how we feel, so just comfort us, show compassion, love your child and remind them that. if you could just put the sickness in your head, you can understand how we cant get out of bed, we cant go to school or other places you may want us too. its too hard, you may only think its a stomach ache, but it is way more than just that.

4. be strong for your child. we need you to be strong for us when we cant. we only can handle so much, and breakdowns happen so often. we need a shoulder to cry on, and yours is the best.'

i know this is not very many tips,

but these are the most crucial and important.

be there for your child because they need you.

xoxo.

she's not broken, she's just a baby.

ello loves,

yesterday was not a fun day. i threw up a lot. and basically everything i ate that day. it totally grosses me out that food from the morning sits in my tum all day even until 11 o'clock at night. but i find it strange that i first throw up my lunch at 9 o'clock, when i ate it at 2, before i throw up my dinner? shouldn't my dinner be first? my tummy makes no sense. i just really want to feel good for a change. i indulged in a huge pickle last night, not a good idea. but it was so worth it. hahaha. sometime i just say to myself screw it. i dont feel good anyways, why not? im just so terrible at following diets. my food craving and hunger seem to over power me. boo.

how are you all feeling?

dont forgot to email//formspring//tweet.

xoxo.

together we'll dance in the dark.

hello beautifuls,

once again sorry for the not so constant updates. there's nothing much going on other than feeling sick and being lazy.i went to my irish step class last night and after i felt awful. i know i said exercise seems to help me, but you've got to know your limits, and i think i've pushed mine too far.

its just so frustrating to not be able to do the things you love (as you all know), and dancing has always been there for me when i needed it. it sounds silly but i have loved to dance since the age of three, and i have ever since. its hard to see yourself have to give up something you have loved your whole life, and put so much time, effort, and work into. i've never know any other sport or activity other than dance. it really consumed my life, and i feel empty not doing it. i need to move, but it is so very hard. it makes me so sick even after only less than an hour, when i used to go for three straight.

i hope you all have not lost the things you love. i know i have lost so much of me throughout this hard time, but hopefully we all can be strong enough to get it what we truly love, need, and want back.

so i ask, what have you lost?

xoxo.

i'm miles from where you are, i lay down on the cold ground.

hello beautiful readers,

i truly apologize for not posting in such a long time. i've been seriously ill and just unmotivated to do anything. another reason why is that i dont do much in treatment for my GP. here they dont know what to do, or rather what else to do to help me feel better. so all of my doctors are just waiting to see what Dr. Lee says down at Johns Hopkins. hopefully she really has some ideas, suggestions, and plans, because i have absolutely no type of treatment that is helping me. i pray that she will be my savior.

i also pray for all of you to feel well, and for people who even have it worse than we do to feel good as well. try to keep positive my sweets, we can get through anything. i love talking to you guys. keep contacting me with your thoughts &&questions especially if you have a new treatment that works, have seen or are currently seeing dr. lee, or have been to the johns hopkins Gi physicality.

love to you all.

xoxo.

zumba zumba.

hey ladies.

this is going to be a short post about another form of exercising. so at my gym we have this cardio dance workout called zumba. i went for the first time on tuesday and i absolutely loved it. its a lot of non stop work but you only have to do what you can, and only stay as long as you want. its an hour long but i can only go for a half an hour. it can really kick your butt but it feels so great after. i felt really good after, after eat, and at night which hasn't happened in a while. i really think that exercising helps get the food moving through your bod and make you feel better. plus all of those endorphins. so go check it out at your gym, its suuuppper fun and really has helped me!

hope you're all feeling good!

xoxo.

hello my wonderful readers.

so today i went back to dance for the first time in about 5 months. before getting sick, i would take dance for about 6 hours a week. i did everything, pointe, ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, irish, everything. but ive had to give that up for the past months, but now i feel okay to go back. im only going for an hour to my irish class since there are only two other girls in it. i can work with them and my teacher more personally until i can build up my strength, flexibility, and stamina, and learn the 6 other dances ive missed.

i actually felt great. i got my mind onto something that i love and it does feel good to exercise. so when im not going to dance im either going to the gym, or doing yoga at home. i highly suggest doing some type of physical activity, if youre able. even if its just walking. thats just what ive been doing at the gym. i think im going to go in on saturdays for 2 hours to learn our opener dance which they just started to i can keep up with that aswell. im just so excited to be back i missed dancing so much.

so my tip to everyone, MOVE! do sometype of physical activity, even if its short and small. it can make you feel a lot bettter, and get your mind off of the stomach.

feel good today.

xoxo.

get to know me!

hello lovelies.

i just wanted everyone to know that, if you didn't already notice, i put a link to my twitter, form spring and email on my sidebar. please feel free to follow my twitter so i can keep updated on everyones status.

if you dont know formspring is just a site where you can ask any question you can possible thing of to someone. it can also be anonymous. so if you want me to know who you are or not, please ask as many questions as you have.

and also my email. i try to check it regularly, but seriously id love to hear your guys' imput, feeling, or questions.

im not trying to beg for popularity, i just really want to talk to people with GP and help people who dont know what i do, or have questions for me and how i live. i love to answer questions, and vent about my life or to listen to someone venting because i know how you all feel! so please do not be shy! this is what i made this whole blog for!

twitter

formspring

xoxo.

so happy i could die.

hello my lovely readers,

i'm terribly sorry for the lack of posting. my stomach has not been feeling good at all. as you may know i have been on the medicine erythromycin since i was diagnosed with GP. but it has only made my symptoms worse. i've been on it for about 3 weeks. so my regular doctor said to take a break from it for a couple of days and see if i feel better. and i have. i really think it's causing the worsening of my symptoms. the only problem is, is that there are no medicines left. i had a horrible reaction to reglan, and now this erythromycin is making me more sick. i really hope that they can figure some other alternative.

this disease so frustrating at times. i've been talking on facebook to three amazing ladies around my age. one who is around 19, one 22, and one exactly my age and in my exact position. is so nice to be able to talk to people who know how you feel, have been treated the same way, and who go through the things that i go through every day. its so nice to vent, and to talk about something other than how bad my stomach hurts. i dont have to explain my every symptoms to them in great detail, they just know. and it is so amazing. i'm making some great friends, especially with the girl my age, nicole. we talk every single day about literally everything! i say she's my GP best friend. and i really hope that someday i may be able to meet her. its so great o have a friend who understands everything that i'm going through.

so everyone, join a group on whatever social website that you may be a part of with people dealing with GP or whatever chronic illness you have. meet people who know how you feel, its such a breathe of fresh air, and it feels great. it can really boost your spirits and you may learn a thing or two.

hope everyone is feeling great.

xoxo.

my baby gem.

hey everybody!

i wanted to post about one of the most important things that has helped me so unbelievably much through this rough past 8 months. Other than my amazing boyfriend and parents my puppy Gemma has literally been by my side every second of it.

Gemma is a 9 month Morkie. she is half maltese and half yorkie, and she is the princess. i spoil her so much. she wayy more like a maltese than a yorkie. shes the sweetest thing in the world and so attached to me. i love her so so so very much. she lies with me when im sick, sits in my lap when im in the bathroom throwing up, she sleeps in my bed with me, and we even take showers together. its easier that way since she needs bathed every week.

i take really good care of her because im home all the time, like brushing her hair and teeth atleast once a day, dressing her up in her elaborate clothes and taking pictures, and doing her luscious hair.

Pets are such great stress relievers and company. not only dogs but cats or other comforting pets. it has been shown in many studies that people suffering from illnesses or recovering from operations recover quicker when a pet is there to give them support and companionship.Animals are often very predictable and constant in their reaction to their owner. Pets, especially dogs, can help a person feel safe from a security perspective. This can be a source of relief. Animals, in general, give unconditional acceptance to their owners. A person can be themselves with their animals and not fear for rejection.

i really suggest that anoyone who is stuggling with not only gastroparesis, but any other longterm chronic illness to invest in a pet. you have a life long best friend who will always be there at your side. i know gemma has helped me so incredibly much throughout the time that we've had her. money can buy love && happiness because it bought me her and it was the best purchase we have ever bought.

here are some pictures of the baby:

when we first got her:

she loves my boy.

she loves her wardrobe and the great outdoors.

especially snow!

i hope everyone is doing well!

dont forget to ask me any questions!

xoxoxo.

a day in the life...

hey lovlies,

i hope everybody's feeling good. i know i sure am NOT. yesterday was a great day. i was over at my boyfriends house and i felt fine. until i was in the car on the way home i got super sick, and once i was home i threw up everything i had eaten that day. so much fun!

so today i feel especially like crap. i've been on the computer all morning. i got down my erythromycin with my instant breakfast, and a couple of strawberries too. but that was about four hours ago and i still cant eat anything. so i'm drinking a lot of Gatorade.

Gatorade is another great drink to keep you hydrated when you cant eat. we have so many bottles for me to drink daily so we dont have to go to the hospital. hooray. hahaha.

i hope i am really helping some people, and ive been talking already to so many of you who have read my blog or seem my facebook! please continue to ask me questions, and email me. i really love to talk to people going through this horrible time like i am.

have a great, feel good day everybody!

xoxoxoxx

FOOD! how to get nutrients you need!

hey lovlies!

so we've been trying so hard to find good food that follows all of my diets, but give me the nutrients and protein i need without making me want to puke. i know this is sooo difficult for most people with GP or IBS and Acid Reflux, because if you have more than one the diets overlap and contradict one another. so here are a couple of foods i've found that really help me.

1. Carnation Instant Breakfast Essentials. These are actually good, i did NOT like Ensure or any other nutrient drink, caus they were just gross! But these instant breakfasts taste great and have so many nutrients that i need. They are excellent sources of Protein, Calcium, and have 21 vitamins and minerals in each drink. They come in packs with a whole bunch of different flavors like CHOCOLATE! i cant eat chocolate for my acid reflux diet, but i can with these drinks. theyre really good and i drink them every morning with my dose of erythromycin.

2. Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich. The funny thing about this is that i hate peanut butter and i hate bananas, but together theyre quite good. I was watching Paula Deen and she made a similar recipe that looked sooo good, but i changed it just a bit. This is my recipe: Take a english muffin and toast it in the toaster. Them take peanut butter, honey, and ground cinnamon and mix them together. No real measurements just put as much as you like until they taste is good. Them slather that mixture on your english muffins. Put the peanut butter on both sides of the muffin so that the bananas sick. Then cut piece of banana in the middle of the sandwich. And thats it! you get the protein from the peanuts, and great nutrition from the banana.

3. Kashi Go Lean Cinnamon Harvest Cereal. I just eat this plain since i cant drink milk. i know GP people are not supposed to eat fiber because its bad for digestion but it conflicts with my other stomach diets for acid relux and gerd and since i can keep it down i still try ot eat it. Its a really good snack if youre starving but dont want anything heavy or make a full meal. You can get a huge pack of two bags at Sams Club.

Alright i know its only three but its soo hard to find food.

i'll keep posting when i find more!

Tips to help that tummy feel good!

hey my lovelies,

i wanted to share some tips that i've learned over the years to help me get through my nausea and feel better. so here they are!

1. Keep busy && distracted. Always have something to do. Don't just lay around and fee sorry for yourself. I don't mean run around and go to the gym, do something like get on the computer, play a game, or create something. Get involved with something other than your stomach.

2. Surround yourself with positive thoughts. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Think about good things that have happened, and plans in the future. Think about the good points of your day and not the bad.

3. Be with the people you love. Love is a wonderful medicine. Don't be by yourself. Its great to be surrounded by people who care about you and that you can share your frustration and hurt. People are great distractions.

4. Get a pet. This is a tip that has seriously helped me so much. I got my puppy Gemma this summer and she has been my angel. She is always by my side. She keeps me company and loves me no matter what. She sleeps with me so i always have someone there. Dogs are great stress relievers and amazing companions. so get yourself a nice fluffy animal to cuddle up with.

5. Keep warm. Snuggle up with a blanket and put a heating pad on your tum. It feels really nice and helps your tummy muscles relax.

6. Drink fluids if you cant eat. you wont get dehydrated as easily with nothing in your stomach. they go down easier and wont make you as sick as big solid food.

7. Always believe in yourself. Keep strong and remind yourself that you can get through this. Tell yourself it could be worse and that you are beautiful. Your mind a such a powerful tool and you can make yourself believe anything.

8. Just relax. Everything is going to be ok. God has his plan for you, so just life your life the best you can.

Hope these can help you guys.

I'll be posting more tips as i discover them.

hope you are all feeling good!

xoxox.

gotta love the doc.

hey everybody,

today i had a doctors appointment with my family practitioner, who i now go to to fix my gastro problems. we had an awful GI doc so my AAHMAZING gynecologist said just to try your general doctor. so we did and its worked way better than an actual GI doc. soafter the gastroparesis diagnosis he still believes IBS may be causing some of the symptoms. he suggested getting an MRI of my brain just to rule out the fact that there maybe a a malfunction of signals from my brain to the stomach. So i actually go tomorrow for the MRI. oh another test, wonderful. and i;m somewhat claustrophobic so that should be a joy.

hope everyone is doing well.

remember you can always comment on my blog or ask me any questions.

xoxoxo.