Monday, September 20, 2010

dear readers,
i know that its almost been a month since my last post, and i am so truly sorry for that. things have been up and down, like usual. recently, for the past couple days, i have been feeling awful. i was up all night last night throwing up things from 3 o'clock that afternoon. not fun. we went to the temple university medical center for another gastric emptying test a couple weeks ago. it was six hours long and not that fun. during the test the tech said everything was moving through fine. WTF? apparently it was a mostly normal test except for when the liquids went through? this makes no sense to me, especially since recently ive been throwing up things at night that i ate for breakfast. its so frustrating and im not sure what this means now. all i know is that i an so incredibly tired of being ill all the time. i just want to be normal, live a normal carefree life. im so very tired of having to watch and worry about everything i do, put in my mouth, and taking all of my medicine. im so tired of the comments and the lack of care since this has gone on so long. people have seemed to forget about my feelings and think just because its gone on this long and that i may seem happy on the inside, that im not being killed on the inside. its so frustrating but i have to live with it.

hope you guys are feeling good.
xoxo.

6 comments:

Guiltyhyena said...

you're a trooper. I cant imagine the mixture of emotions you must go through, it must take it's toll sometimes. the way you handle two fab blogs aswell as everyday affairs is a testament to yourself!

Amanda @ Life with A.Co said...

:(

It's amazing, because, like you said, people may THINK you're okay from the outside, but you are suffering so bad with this - I'm so sorry - I wish this wasn't happening to you.

On the other hand, I'm incredibly inspired and proud of you for being so strong and LOOKING so strong on your other blog - you really give the impression that you are happy and optimistic, even when you're feeling super shitty.

Sending some *feel better vibes* your way pretty girl.

vnikali said...

you look so pretty!
love the font on ur blog: )
xx
vnikali
www.vnikali.blogspot.com

Ester said...

Beautiful blog, :)

Ster.
http://dieblogvonster.blogspot.com/

claire said...

Dear Julianne, I can totally sympathize with what you are going through! I was finally diagnosed with gastroparesis last year after battling it since 2003. I've had good periods but also currently going through the vicious cycle you describe. Please hang in there!
I really appreciate your candid posts! Its really nice that someone out there understands how it feels. Take care, Claire

claire said...

hi, i just read your post again as i am going through a very bad gastroparesis phase right now (helps to know i'm not alone). i also had one type of gastric emptying study (with some sort of radioactive stuff that they x-rayed every 5 minutes - lasted a few hours) done that said i was normal, but the endoscopy showed that there was still food or liquid there from a day before. i ended up getting a second opinion using a different gastric emptying test (one where they measured digestion with a breath test). This last test showed that my stomach empties way too slow. I know how hard it is that people forget you are ill or that they don't believe you, etc. Hang in there!! Best, Claire P.S. If you want to contact me I think you can get my email through my google id from this post.