on my journey.

helllo loves,

so tomorrow is the start of the big trip to baltimore to see dr. linda lee. we are leaving around 9am, dropping off the pups, and going down. im so sad that my gemma has to stay at the kennel its nearly bringing me to tears. i know i will cry when we drive away, and when i go to bed without her.

the appointment i not until 9 am friday morning, but we'd figure we'd make the best out of the journey and have some fun. i cant wait to eat some crab since i can and its one of my favorite foods. im very excited, minus the fact that i wont have my boyfriend or pup pup.

i'm very excited excited to see want dr lee has to say. especially since recently ive been throwing up a ridiculous amount. like tonight driving to drop off my boyfriend i threw up three times, and three of my biggest throw ups to date. i cant even believe i had that such junk in my stomach. its awful. puking on the side of the road is not particularly fun, especially when youre puking your life out.

i will blog every once of information i get on friday, and about everything she says.

wish me luck my dear friends and stay healthy.

xoxo.

heartbreak warfare.

hey lovers,

hope every one has started off the week feeling good! i wish i could say i did, but not so much. yesterday, (sun. 28th) i threw up three times. this isn't that unusual, but i haven't in a very long time. since last week ive just been down, hit so hard with nausea and pukies. no fun.

but the good new is that this thursday we will be heading down to baltimore to see the infamous dr. linda lee. she was actually just on tv for some colonoscopy story.she seems awesome and i cant wait to see what she says. i dont have much hope, because ive just learned not to since ive been let down so much. but shes the best, she has to have some ideas.

i will be trying to keep more consistent with my posts, especially this week. please continue to email me or any other contacting avenues i have up. i love to talk to people with my disease. i have made such great friends. one in particular from the uk who i just love to death, and hope to meet some day. so keep on contacting.

we can be friends!

xoxo.

for the parents: tips for helping your child.

hello readers,

i know that it was be hard to be a parent of a GP child, or a child with any chronic illness. but here are some tips from the child's point of view to help us feel better, physically and emotionally.

1. always believe your child. no matter what or when we feel sick, we really do. we arent making it up to get out of something. we are in so much pain and we just need to feel comforted, and not like we have to convince our parents to believe us.

2. don't get mad, at least in front of us. when we are too sick to go to important events, or school, we really are not trying to get out of it. it makes us feel even worse, and more stressed when you get angry about us missing. we are too sick, you have no idea what it feels like. adding stress about our parents being upset with us only adds to the pain.

3. try to comprehend what we are going through. think of having the flu x100 every minute of every day. its torture. you dont understand one bit how we feel, so just comfort us, show compassion, love your child and remind them that. if you could just put the sickness in your head, you can understand how we cant get out of bed, we cant go to school or other places you may want us too. its too hard, you may only think its a stomach ache, but it is way more than just that.

4. be strong for your child. we need you to be strong for us when we cant. we only can handle so much, and breakdowns happen so often. we need a shoulder to cry on, and yours is the best.'

i know this is not very many tips,

but these are the most crucial and important.

be there for your child because they need you.

xoxo.

she's not broken, she's just a baby.

ello loves,

yesterday was not a fun day. i threw up a lot. and basically everything i ate that day. it totally grosses me out that food from the morning sits in my tum all day even until 11 o'clock at night. but i find it strange that i first throw up my lunch at 9 o'clock, when i ate it at 2, before i throw up my dinner? shouldn't my dinner be first? my tummy makes no sense. i just really want to feel good for a change. i indulged in a huge pickle last night, not a good idea. but it was so worth it. hahaha. sometime i just say to myself screw it. i dont feel good anyways, why not? im just so terrible at following diets. my food craving and hunger seem to over power me. boo.

how are you all feeling?

dont forgot to email//formspring//tweet.

xoxo.

together we'll dance in the dark.

hello beautifuls,

once again sorry for the not so constant updates. there's nothing much going on other than feeling sick and being lazy.i went to my irish step class last night and after i felt awful. i know i said exercise seems to help me, but you've got to know your limits, and i think i've pushed mine too far.

its just so frustrating to not be able to do the things you love (as you all know), and dancing has always been there for me when i needed it. it sounds silly but i have loved to dance since the age of three, and i have ever since. its hard to see yourself have to give up something you have loved your whole life, and put so much time, effort, and work into. i've never know any other sport or activity other than dance. it really consumed my life, and i feel empty not doing it. i need to move, but it is so very hard. it makes me so sick even after only less than an hour, when i used to go for three straight.

i hope you all have not lost the things you love. i know i have lost so much of me throughout this hard time, but hopefully we all can be strong enough to get it what we truly love, need, and want back.

so i ask, what have you lost?

xoxo.

i'm miles from where you are, i lay down on the cold ground.

hello beautiful readers,

i truly apologize for not posting in such a long time. i've been seriously ill and just unmotivated to do anything. another reason why is that i dont do much in treatment for my GP. here they dont know what to do, or rather what else to do to help me feel better. so all of my doctors are just waiting to see what Dr. Lee says down at Johns Hopkins. hopefully she really has some ideas, suggestions, and plans, because i have absolutely no type of treatment that is helping me. i pray that she will be my savior.

i also pray for all of you to feel well, and for people who even have it worse than we do to feel good as well. try to keep positive my sweets, we can get through anything. i love talking to you guys. keep contacting me with your thoughts &&questions especially if you have a new treatment that works, have seen or are currently seeing dr. lee, or have been to the johns hopkins Gi physicality.

love to you all.

xoxo.

zumba zumba.

hey ladies.

this is going to be a short post about another form of exercising. so at my gym we have this cardio dance workout called zumba. i went for the first time on tuesday and i absolutely loved it. its a lot of non stop work but you only have to do what you can, and only stay as long as you want. its an hour long but i can only go for a half an hour. it can really kick your butt but it feels so great after. i felt really good after, after eat, and at night which hasn't happened in a while. i really think that exercising helps get the food moving through your bod and make you feel better. plus all of those endorphins. so go check it out at your gym, its suuuppper fun and really has helped me!

hope you're all feeling good!

xoxo.

hello my wonderful readers.

so today i went back to dance for the first time in about 5 months. before getting sick, i would take dance for about 6 hours a week. i did everything, pointe, ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, irish, everything. but ive had to give that up for the past months, but now i feel okay to go back. im only going for an hour to my irish class since there are only two other girls in it. i can work with them and my teacher more personally until i can build up my strength, flexibility, and stamina, and learn the 6 other dances ive missed.

i actually felt great. i got my mind onto something that i love and it does feel good to exercise. so when im not going to dance im either going to the gym, or doing yoga at home. i highly suggest doing some type of physical activity, if youre able. even if its just walking. thats just what ive been doing at the gym. i think im going to go in on saturdays for 2 hours to learn our opener dance which they just started to i can keep up with that aswell. im just so excited to be back i missed dancing so much.

so my tip to everyone, MOVE! do sometype of physical activity, even if its short and small. it can make you feel a lot bettter, and get your mind off of the stomach.

feel good today.

xoxo.

get to know me!

hello lovelies.

i just wanted everyone to know that, if you didn't already notice, i put a link to my twitter, form spring and email on my sidebar. please feel free to follow my twitter so i can keep updated on everyones status.

if you dont know formspring is just a site where you can ask any question you can possible thing of to someone. it can also be anonymous. so if you want me to know who you are or not, please ask as many questions as you have.

and also my email. i try to check it regularly, but seriously id love to hear your guys' imput, feeling, or questions.

im not trying to beg for popularity, i just really want to talk to people with GP and help people who dont know what i do, or have questions for me and how i live. i love to answer questions, and vent about my life or to listen to someone venting because i know how you all feel! so please do not be shy! this is what i made this whole blog for!

twitter

formspring

xoxo.

so happy i could die.

hello my lovely readers,

i'm terribly sorry for the lack of posting. my stomach has not been feeling good at all. as you may know i have been on the medicine erythromycin since i was diagnosed with GP. but it has only made my symptoms worse. i've been on it for about 3 weeks. so my regular doctor said to take a break from it for a couple of days and see if i feel better. and i have. i really think it's causing the worsening of my symptoms. the only problem is, is that there are no medicines left. i had a horrible reaction to reglan, and now this erythromycin is making me more sick. i really hope that they can figure some other alternative.

this disease so frustrating at times. i've been talking on facebook to three amazing ladies around my age. one who is around 19, one 22, and one exactly my age and in my exact position. is so nice to be able to talk to people who know how you feel, have been treated the same way, and who go through the things that i go through every day. its so nice to vent, and to talk about something other than how bad my stomach hurts. i dont have to explain my every symptoms to them in great detail, they just know. and it is so amazing. i'm making some great friends, especially with the girl my age, nicole. we talk every single day about literally everything! i say she's my GP best friend. and i really hope that someday i may be able to meet her. its so great o have a friend who understands everything that i'm going through.

so everyone, join a group on whatever social website that you may be a part of with people dealing with GP or whatever chronic illness you have. meet people who know how you feel, its such a breathe of fresh air, and it feels great. it can really boost your spirits and you may learn a thing or two.

hope everyone is feeling great.

xoxo.

my baby gem.

hey everybody!

i wanted to post about one of the most important things that has helped me so unbelievably much through this rough past 8 months. Other than my amazing boyfriend and parents my puppy Gemma has literally been by my side every second of it.

Gemma is a 9 month Morkie. she is half maltese and half yorkie, and she is the princess. i spoil her so much. she wayy more like a maltese than a yorkie. shes the sweetest thing in the world and so attached to me. i love her so so so very much. she lies with me when im sick, sits in my lap when im in the bathroom throwing up, she sleeps in my bed with me, and we even take showers together. its easier that way since she needs bathed every week.

i take really good care of her because im home all the time, like brushing her hair and teeth atleast once a day, dressing her up in her elaborate clothes and taking pictures, and doing her luscious hair.

Pets are such great stress relievers and company. not only dogs but cats or other comforting pets. it has been shown in many studies that people suffering from illnesses or recovering from operations recover quicker when a pet is there to give them support and companionship.Animals are often very predictable and constant in their reaction to their owner. Pets, especially dogs, can help a person feel safe from a security perspective. This can be a source of relief. Animals, in general, give unconditional acceptance to their owners. A person can be themselves with their animals and not fear for rejection.

i really suggest that anoyone who is stuggling with not only gastroparesis, but any other longterm chronic illness to invest in a pet. you have a life long best friend who will always be there at your side. i know gemma has helped me so incredibly much throughout the time that we've had her. money can buy love && happiness because it bought me her and it was the best purchase we have ever bought.

here are some pictures of the baby:

when we first got her:

she loves my boy.

she loves her wardrobe and the great outdoors.

especially snow!

i hope everyone is doing well!

dont forget to ask me any questions!

xoxoxo.